Bobby appeared as a guest on 24th February 2010, talking about his appearance on the Fattest Man in Britain, the forthcoming summer season, and his appearance on All Star Mr and Mrs.
Other guests on the same show were Hayley Tamaddon and Daniel Whiston. The panel were Andrea McLean, Lisa Maxwell, Sherrie Hewson and Zoe Tyler
Andrea: Now with a career at spanning a phenomenal 46 years in the business, it’s fair to say that our first guest is one of our most treasured icons in British comedy. Swapping old school variety for a spiky new drama, his latest venture saw him take on the role of a wily agent in The Fattest Man in Britain.
(Fattest man in Britain clip plays)
Andrea: Please welcome Bobby Ball. Welcome welcome.
Bobby: Thank you.
Andrea: It’s lovely to have you on the show and I have to say congratulations on The Fattest Man in Britain. I loved it, absolutely loved it.
Bobby: Thank you very much.
Andrea: Is it true the part was written especially for you?
Bobby: It was written for me, yes. Caroline Ahern and Jeff Pope wrote it for me. I absolutely loved it. But I’ve just been listening downstairs. And you’ve been giving me a headache because… because when that lady wrote in about
Andrea: The man
Bobby: … who falls asleep. It’s a compliment. Because when you do this thing, the woman is up here, but the man goes… and it’s a compliment when he falls asleep. He’s saying you’ve done good. Now Yvonne said to me… Can I just say this because my wife Yvonne, it’s her birthday today.
All: Happy birthday Yvonne
Bobby: Happy birthday Yvonne. Well, she said to me the other night ‘Shall we go upstairs and make love’? Right? I said ‘I can’t do two things at once. You’ll have to make your mind up.’
Andrea: So what do you think? We should take that as a compliment. Alright, I was told…
Bobby: I think it is a compliment myself. I don’t do it. I love and kiss my wife because when it comes to doing that thing now, it’s either that or a cup of tea.
Zoe: You see, The thing is, Bobby, you been married a long time, haven’t you? How do you keep it up.
Bobby: Why’s she like that, please. That’s awful.
Zoe: No, I meant your romance. Your romance.
Bobby: I’m blushing here. I’ve been married for 36 years. I have 9 grandkids. Three kids and two dogs and I love my dogs. My daughter’s training to be a teacher and two, my two sons are a comedy double act called Harper Brothers. And they’re fantastic. Yeah. So they’re in the business, but yeah, me and Yvonne, we do alright. It’s either sex or a cup of tea. But if she wants to get dirty it’s a cup of cocoa.
Lisa: Well, you do it downstairs, she doesn’t get upstairs.
Bobby: Sorry, stop it. You’re getting as bad as her.
Sherrie: Bobby, you know when you did the fattest man, though, you did a sex scene with Francis Barber, didn’t you?
Bobby: I did
Sherrie: Yes.
Lisa: A love scene
Sherrie: Sorry. Oh, sorry. I said that word.
Bobby: What was it, a love scene?
Sherrie: And was it difficult?
Bobby: Yeah, it was actually, because this is true what I’m gonna tell you, that same day my wife weren’t so well and she had to go to hospital, right? So she went to hospital and I went to get in bed with Francis Barber. So when I got back Yvonne’s in hospital, I went to see her in hospital. And the first word she said was ‘how was the sex scene?’. I said it was fantastic. Yeah. I was very nervous about that.
Sherrie: Were you embarrassed, though?
Bobby: Yes, because I’m not used to that. When the script come through, I said to my manager ‘Have you read this script’. He said, yeah, I said I’m called Morris in the film. I said it says Morris’s bare bottom is going up and down. I said there is no way, there is no way everybody’s looking at this bottom.
Andrea: I have to say, I’ve seen it and I didn’t spot your bare bottom. You’re alright
Bobby: No, they didn’t do it. They cut it, you know, though that’s what was in the script originally.
Andrea: And Francis was on the show and she spoke very highly of you.
Bobby: She’s lovely. Yes, she’s lovely. Yeah.
Andrea: She said you were very, very professional. She did.
Bobby: It is professional.
Andrea: It’s not the first time that you’ve taken part in a serious drama is it? Is this something that you’d like to maybe move towards a little bit more of?
Bobby: Yeah. I mean, I’m never gonna leave Tommy, Cannon and Ball are Cannon and Ball, you know, I love him and that’s it. So I’d never leave him. But yeah, I’d like to try some serious acting. Jeff Pope and Carolyn Aherne are already writing something, so that’s in the pipeline. So that’s good, yeah.
Sherrie: But we did a sitcom together, didn’t we
Bobby: We did, which was fantastic.
Sherrie: I was just gonna say…
Bobby: She kept coming on to me and everything. She kept offering me a hob nob.
Sherrie: Chocolate one.
Bobby: Oh of course
Andrea: Do you… I mean obviously you say there’ll always be Tommy. Are you enjoying doing stuff on your own as well?
Bobby: Yeah. Yeah. Because you come to an age where you wanna try all sorts of things, don’t you? So, yeah, I’m doing a… we’re going out with a big tour, me and Tommy called Cannon and Ball meet the Blues Brothers, in the summer.
Zoe: So you sing, are you a good singer as well bobby?
Bobby: I’m brilliant. I’m alright. I’m not like you. I’m…
Zoe: I was gonna have a little feel of you diaphragm, see how good you were.
Sherrie: Oooh, let her feel it
Bobby: Why are you like this? She’s awful isn’t she.
Andrea: She is. She’s very frisky.
Bobby: Keeps doing these double entendres.
Sherrie: She’s been on her own for a long time.
Zoe: Not as long as you, love!
Sherrie: That’s true.
Bobby: She’s alright. She’s looking good, I’ll tell you that. (To Lisa) Not as good as you, not as good as you.
Andrea: You’re gonna be on Mr and Mrs, is that right?
Bobby: Oh yes, me and Yvonne. Happy birthday, Yvonne. Get ready for me, I’m coming home. Anyway. These have got me going. I’m telling you, get ready. Forget the cocoa I’m in tonight, I’ll tell you that. Anyway, let me show you something, ladies and gentlemen. I mean, I’ve seen a miracle today. No, not that. I’ve seen a miracle today. (To Carol) Stand up.
Carol: Right. Uh, God. What are you going to do.
Bobby: I’ve never met anybody smaller than me. But yes, we’re on, Mr and Mrs, me and Yvonne. On Saturday. It was fantastic, she loved it. She was very nervous. I’m not telling how we did. Yeah, but yeah, we were on that. We’re on Saturday, yeah.
Sherrie: Did you get anything right?
Bobby: I can’t tell you. I can’t tell you, but I did give her a good hiding when we got in.
Andrea: Obviously you’ve been performing variety for, you know we mentioned there 46 years. Have you ever, have you done, how many times have you had to curtsey before royalty?
Bobby: A lot of times, yeah, but my curtsey’s not like yours. No mines that (nods head) alright. But I remember the queen come along – has anybody met the queen…
Carol: When I was 14, I met the queen, actually. I couldn’t understand her.
Bobby: How many times?
Sherrie: Tell us your story
Carol: Twice. Tell us your story, come on.
Bobby: So she came along, she went, and we’ve just done the show, and she went very jovial. I said ‘thanks cock’. So she moved on pretty rapid.
Andrew: Which is what we’re gonna have to do. We’re gonna say thanks cock.
Bobby: I’ve loved it. Thank you.
Andrea: Bobby Ball, everyone
Bobby: Thanks a lot. Thank you.
Andrea: And The Fattest Man in Britain is out on DVD right now. 