Two appearances on the daytime chat show talking to Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford
12th April 2013
Bobby appeared by himeself, talking about the one-off TV show The Security Men he was appearing in that week.
Eamonn: We were just having a lovely chat off camera with our next guest and he was telling us a few things about the secret to a happy marriage and I accept them. It was brilliant.
Bobby: She’s sat at home now. She’ll be making the dinner for when I get home, she looks after me. Yvonne, I love you very much.
Eammon: Isn’t that nice. How many years have you and Yvonne been..?
Bobby: Thirty-nine.
Eammon: There you are, Bobby Ball and Yvonne and Bobby not only giving us advice, but you could tell Britain’s wannabe’s one or two about show business of course.
Ruth: Yeah, cause Bobby Ball met Tommy Cannon when they were welders, but it was the comedy that bonded them and the fact actually that stand up paid better than the welding. And they started out on a talent show. They went on to have their own TV show in 1979 which gave them national notoriety and caused us a few catchphrases.
(Clips from TV show and The Boys in Blue)
Ruth: Sorry, I’m just laughing because it wasn’t always a success, was it? He was just telling us about Opportunity Knocks. What happened?
Bobby: Well we did opportunity knocks me and Tommy and came last and we had two bookings in Wales and they got cancelled.
Eamonn: Rightly so, yes, yes.
Ruth: So how did you go from losing on Opportunity Knocks to having all your bookings cancelled to that?
Bobby: Well, we packed in welding and we’ve gone professional. So we had to just keep going and hope that we get more bookings, which we did eventually we got better and better, so we were fine, you know?
Eamon: But comedy wasn’t the first thing you did, didn’t you try your hand at singing.
Bobby: We were singing and I thought it was a bit of a sex appeal. And then I realised that at 5 foot 4 you haven’t got a lot going for you really. You gotta do comedy.
Eamonn: But you kept singing in. The act, of course, didn’t you?
Bobby: Yeah, yeah. I had to give Tommy a break. He likes to sing a song
Eamonn: I’ve seen you in panto a few times as well. You like a tune. You know you like it.
Bobby: Yeah, I like a tune now and again, a bit of sing song, yeah.
Ruth: And we’re seeing you in all these acting roles
Eamonn: Who would have thought? Who would have thought, you know, at your age and stage, I mean, where and why did this… But it did. It came to you, it’s only it’s only happened in the past five years hasn’t it.
Bobby: What about you wearing a purple suit?
Eamonn: Showbiz.
Bobby: I just got offered to do Last of the Summer Wine and I went in and I absolutely loved it and I said to my manager, Phil Dale, I said, can you get me some and he did.
Ruth: Had you done any acting before?
Bobby: None before, no first time. And it slowly got more. And then Caroline Ahern wrote The Fattest Man in Britain with Jeff Pope. And we met up with them in a hotel and said having some lunch. Bobby cause Granada’s paying, you know. I said no, I’ve just had two boiled eggs for my breakfast, and she laughed and we just got on. Then Jeff Pope took over, and then he’s just done The Security Men.
Ruth: Yeah, so this is, this is your new one. This is The Security Men, which is on tonight on ITV at 9:00. And this is also written by Caroline
Bobby: Caroline, and Jeff, yeah. Yeah, they wrote together.
Ruth: Just tell us briefly a little knob of what the story is about.
Bobby: Well it’s four men who work as security men, and I have a wife. She’s called Brenda, who’s got multiple piercings and tattoos and I like to show rude photos of her because she likes to get them out and everything. I’ve been watching the programme this morning anyway. So anyway, we want to watch Amir Khan boxing so we turn the alarms off and watch him in a shop and while that’s happening somebody robs the stuff.
Ruth: And yeah, so let’s have a look at what happens when you’re trying to watch this boxing match when they’re supposed to be looking after this security. This is what happens.
(Clip from The Security Men)
Eamonn: And amongst the four we saw Brendan O’Caroll there, who’s Mrs Brown?
Bobby: He was. Without his dress, I couldn’t, I just couldn’t get that picture out. Seeing him dressed as a man, it was strange for me. He’s a lovely man, we had a great time. Yeah. And Dean Andrews. Peter White.
Ruth: And Paddy McGuinness
Bobby: Pardon McGuinness is in as a detective. Yeah, it’s really good.
Ruth: You must have had a laugh making all that…
Bobby: We’re always laughing. Well, just before we did the takes, before they said action, me and Brendon would be standing there waiting like this and suddenly he’d start to tickle me. And I started to laugh just as they say action and he’d go on as if nothing happened. And they went why you laughing for? I said it were him. He went nothing to do with me. He set me up like that. Yeah, it was great.
Ruth: So what happens? They try then to recreate… ?
Bobby: They tried to recreate the robbery
Eamonn: To put it right on the video tape.
Ruth: To put it right on video
Bobby: That’s all I’m gonna say.
Eamonn: That’s all you’re gonna say. OK? And obviously that has, that’s precarious enough in itself. What about the whole job of being a security man? Could you think you could be? Because it’s long hours for a lot of these guys.
Bobby: I couldn’t do it. I’m 5 foot 4, Eamonn.
Eamonn: Well, you could patrol, you know. You were, where you were in. It was in Salford weren’t you. You were in a shopping, a real shopping centre.
Bobby: Salford. And the strangest thing for me was there were security men really there, proper security men. And I’ve never seen more miserable people in my life.
Eamonn: Because they were thinking what you’re getting paid compared to them, that’s why.
Bobby: That’s exactly right. That’s right, yeah.
Ruth: When you when you first mentioned to Tommy that you wanted to go off and do the acting. What was his reaction? How did that affect things?
Bobby: Well, he’s been great about it, Tom. I mean, I said I wanna try some acting cause we’re both knocking on, so I wanted to. He said great, go for it, mate. I mean, me and him haven’t split up. We work together most of the time, so yeah. He was great about it. Yeah.
Ruth: Well, you’re doing. Summer, I think, in Blackpool.
Bobby: It’s the biggest summer show there’s been in Blackpool for about 30 years. It’s a Las Vegas big show we’re doing that, then a little tour, then we’re going to the Theatre Royal in Lincoln for panto, so I’m really busy.
Eamonn: And we got somebody got in touch with us this morning and they phoned in to say that you have been a security man before. A sitcom for ITV with Tommy, and it was called Plaza Patrol.
Bobby: That’s right. In another supermarket, we did one series of that.
Eamonn: We’re going back to 1992 here. Same uniform?
Bobby: That’s right. Yeah. Plaza Patrol. Well, no, put a bit of weight on since then Eamonn, you know.
Eamonn: Whatever happened to Plaza Patrol. Why did that not run for 10 years?
Bobby: Well, it was like Op Knocks, really. It didn’t really work, I don’t think. I enjoyed it, but obviously the powers that be didn’t so.
Ruth: And then Mount Pleasant, of course, we’ve seen you playing Sally Lindsay’s dad in Mount Pleasant. You doing another one of those?
Bobby: Yes, I’m doing some more of that and I’m on next Friday with Lee Mack and Not Going Out playing his dad.
Ruth: You play a lot of Dads now
Bobby: I play Dads and Father Christmases.
Eamonn: Yeah, but I mean you, you you’ve had fallow periods in your career, you’ve had a…
Bobby: What does that mean, fallow?
Eamonn: You know, when it wasn’t good, wasn’t good, things dipped.
Bobby: That’s true.
Eamonn: So I suppose now you appreciate it’s coming, you’re having fun.
Bobby: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a great life, a fantastic life. I do a variety of jobs. I work with Tommy, I do a bit of acting, smashing, I’m lap dancing in the old folks homes in Blackpool.
Eamonn: Yes, lovely.
Ruth: I’ve heard you’re very good as well
Bobby: I’m doing really well.
Eamonn: And I’m sure Yvonne loves to see the work coming in for you. So that’s…
Bobby: Well, it saves me, not going home you see.
Eamonn: Are we likely to see this as a series? This is a one off tonight.
Bobby: Well, we did it as a one off but if it goes to a series that’d be great. But if it doesn’t, its just a one off.
Eamonn: OK, the security men are on ITV tonight. It is at 9 o’clock. Bobby Ball, thank you very much.
Ruth: Thanks, Bobby. Love to see you.
Bobby: (To Ruth) You wanna leave him? I’m here.
Ruth: OK, I’ll give you my number on the way out. Lovely. Might be sooner than you think.
6th August 2013
Bobby and Tommy appeared together, talking to about their summer season in Blackpool
Eamonn: Laurel and Hardy. Morecambe and Wise. French and Saunders. Eamonn and Ruth. They’re all top time duos. And you can add to that Cannon and Ball.
Ruth: Yeah, beautiful. And put them at the top of your list actually.
(Lots of clips from TV show and I’m a Celebrity)
Eamonn: Well, you’re probably chuckling there and it’s easy to laugh, but I want to be very serious. I want to start off being very serious. I want you to spare a thought for Tommy and Bobby now because they have to spend the rest of the summer with lots and lots of French burlesque dancers for the rest of the summer. You think what you’re doing for the summer and then think of what they have to do for the summer.
Ruth: How awful.
Tommy: Yeah, it’s not easy. It’s not easy.
Ruth: Gorgeous girls, scantily clad.
Bobby: We have got the most beautiful dancers you’ve seen in your life. Look at them.
(They show a montage of clips from the show)
Ruth: Ooh La La.
Tommy: Exactly. They’re gorgeous, beautiful.
Bobby: It’s a great show.
Ruth: So this is your, this is a new show that you’re involved in in Blackpool
Tommy: Yeah.
Eamonn: Excuse me, could I just ask, do you have any tickets? Can I get tickets? Someone…
Bobby: You can get tickets. Yeah, are you bringing Ruth, with you?
Eamonn: No, no.
Bobby: You’re on your own. Well, you can’t. Then you can’t then.
Ruth: So tell us about Ooh La La.
Bobby: Ooh La La, it’s, we’ve gone back to the old summer seasons, but like it’s massive, they’ve got the beautiful dancers, got speciality acts, it’s great shows and we’re doing two. We’re doing Ooh La La and Step Back in Time. It’s a new project, yeah.
Tommy: Yeah, And we’ve got a fabulous juggler. We’ve got also a balancing chap, he’s so strong. This young boy balances on blocks of wood and just goes up and up and up, and it’s just a fabulous show. It is like actually stepping back in time and we’re trying to, you know…
Bobby: It’s fantastic.
Eamonn: But boys, you can’t step back in time. And the reason I say the reason I say this is we’ve just discussed men’s health. And the best will in the world. We’ve looked at those lovely clips of you. And you may have seen better days. I mean physically.
Tommy: Well, no, look at Bobby, look at the physique
Bobby: I can’t. I can’t have seen better days, look at this. I’m like you, why have a six pack when you can have the barrel. I mean.
Tommy: Well there you go, you might as well have a door.
Bobby: She never took her eyes off it. Ruth never took her eyes off me.
Ruth: I’m glued.
Eamonn: Do you worry about your health? Because we saying there that men tend to put their head in the sand and maybe not take concern of their bodies and whatever.
Tommy: Yeah, they should talk. Should talk about it. Men of a certain age have do have a problem. I don’t hide mine. I have a prostate problem. Every year I have a test. PSA levels, etcetera and as long as it stays at a certain level, everything’s fine.
Bobby: Yeah, I have a lump on my back called Tommy. I worry about it. I’ve had it a long time now. 51 years.
Tommy: Right. 51 years. And remember this, he’s not my first Bobby.
Ruth: Is he not?
Tommy: Ohh, 51 years old. I’ve had a few Bobby’s. This is the sixth one, the sixth Bobby.
Ruth: Have you got number 7 lined up?
Tommy: Yeah, one lined up for when he kicks it, I’ve got it all sorted out, yeah.
Eamonn: Do you ever think, do either of you ever think, if one of you weren’t there? I hate to be morbid about this?
Ruth: But you are being morbid…
Eamonn: But I’m Irish we sort of talk about like things like this
Bobby: I don’t know what it is. You’re very morbid. I’m getting depressed.
Tommy: Pick it up a bit.
Eamonn: OK, I’ll pick it up a bit, Ruth, what do I like about morbidness?
Ruth: He is getting morbid, let’s not talk about that, let’s go back to the show. What is it you love about summer season and why do people love summer season?
Eamonn: Ooh la la, that’s what they love about it
Ruth: Yeah. What does you love about that kind of end of the pier?
Bobby: He’s depressed me. I’m not being funny. You have.
Ruth: I’m sorry, Bobby.
Bobby: What we like is the excitement with meeting with them for a while and the dancers and the excitement, and we just love it.
Ruth: And is this a show for all age groups?
Tommy: All age groups
Bobby: All age groups, yes. When we say Ooh La La, it’s not topless or anything like that. It’s just a French review. Sorry, mate.
Tommy: Sorry Eamonn so you don’t want a ticket now?
Ruth: Now and so are you hosting it or are you doing comedy as well and?
Tommy: Hosting yeah, hosting it all the way through and then a 30 minute slot sort of towards the end, yeah.
Eamonn: Now a lot of people are saying because of the good weather, the home holiday, the staycations are very much in vogue and that people are holidaying at the seaside towns around the country. What do you, how are you finding Blackpool because you live there, don’t you.
Bobby: It’s busy. Yeah. Very, very busy. Because of the weather.
Ruth: Amazing weather
Bobby: Yeah, but I don’t live in Blackpool. I live in Lytham St Annes. I’m the only one living with my own hips.
Tommy: It’s a beautiful place and everybody’s bifocal, aren’t they?
Bobby: All the windows, all the shop windows are bifocal.
Ruth: And do you get time off?
Bobby: You’re just my type aren’t you Ruth.
Ruth: I know. Getting a bit hot, Bobby.
Bobby: I know, I know, I know, I know
Ruth: Don’t cause Vonnie’s watching.
Bobby: I’m not , Vonnie. I’m only joking.
Ruth: So after all these years working together, is that relationship still as good as it was at the beginning? Has it changed?
Bobby: Mine and his? We’ve been through all everything. Yeah.
Tommy: Been up the mountain. Bought the T-shirt. There’s nothing to worry about anymore.
Bobby: We’re very close. I’ll bury him or he’ll bury me. One of the two.
Ruth: Because you do go off and do separate things, don’t you?
Tommy: Sure
Bobby: I’ll. I’ll go and do acting. We’ve got a film lined up with the pair of us. I can’t talk about that.
Tommy: We can’t talk about it, we don’t know yet.
Bobby: But I’ll go and do my acting, but I’ll never do stand up without Tommy.
Eamonn: And when you’re not doing stand up, you have that security guard job that you do round the shop, the shopping mall. And you know, here we see you doing that. Because the last time you came in you talked about that. How’s that going?
Bobby: Well, they’ve done that. They’ve done that one and I think they’re in the process of getting it all together for some more.
Eamonn: And Tommy, do you not, do you not fancy the acting at all?
Tommy: Yeah, sure. I think it’s just, it’s just a matter of Bobby’s the comedian part of the double act, if you like. So any comedic parts, they’ll ask for Bob. They’ve never been sort of over bothered, but I don’t think I’ve never really been asked to. I’ve done stuff with Bob on Last of The Summer Wine, Heartbeat and stuff.
Bobby: Yes, there’s not many parts for serial killers.
Eamonn: Guys, good luck. When does the summer season start?
Ruth: They’re at the Grand Theatre. It started now.
Tommy: Started now. It’s already started. Fantastic show.
Eamonn: Well we appreciate you seeing us on your day off.
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