Cannon and Ball appeared on this summer show in 1988.
Their segment was a short bit of stand-up to start with, then a sketch with Lulu, followed by their own rendition of Wind Beneath My Wings.
The sketch with Lulu was a re-creation of the sketch they had originally performed with Iris Williams in Series 4 of The Cannon and Ball show, where they push each other off a wall while singing.
Roy Walker: Ohh, welcome back to part 3, ladies and gentlemen, star time. Top of the bill time. The three most exciting words in show business today, Cannon and Ball.
Tommy: Thank you. Thank you.
Bobby: Come on!
Tommy: Thank you. Hello everybody.
Bobby: I’m excited. I’m really excited.
Tommy: Don’t spoil it for me tonight.
Bobby: What’s up?
Tommy: Tonight. Tonight I’m in love.
Bobby: Why didn’t you tell me before?
Tommy: Not with you, shut up, not with you.
Bobby: Who with?
Tommy: This lovely lady sat on the front row here
Bobby: Are you, Tommy? You’re joking.
Tommy: Oh no, I’m not joking.
Bobby: Are you pulling her?
Tommy: No, I’m not pulling her.
Bobby: Go on, pull it Tommy
Tommy: No I am not
Bobby: Go on, pull it (Crouching and speaking to lady in audience) Hey, I think he’s trying to pull you.
Tommy: I’m not
Bobby: He is, he’s pulling you
Tommy: Shut up
Bobby: You stupid person! You nearly knocked me off the piggin’ stage then.
Tommy: I’m trying to talk to this lady aren’t I? You’re butting in. You shut your mouth.
Bobby: It’s a free country
Tommy: Never mind what it is.
Bobby: Well, I can speak if I want.
Tommy: I’m not saying you can’t speak. Don’t do it while I’m speaking, right.
Bobby: It’s a free country.
Tommy: I know it is
Bobby: It’s a free country.
Tommy: Be quiet. (To audience member) Darling, I’m awfully sorry but may I say it’s a lovely hairdo. Have you had your hair done?
Bobby: Or have you come on a motorbike?
Tommy: Now you’ve…
Bobby: I didn’t mean it
Tommy: Forget it
Bobby: It were a joke
Tommy: No, no, that’s not nice
Bobby: But wait a minute, Tom. No, I wanna… what’s with all the… (gestures at Toms suit)? Very very nice, very very nice.
Tommy: The gear. I’ll tell you what’s with it shall I? Tonight I’m going to do something different.
Bobby: Are you? What you doing? What we doing?
Tommy: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Lulu.
(Lulu enters)
Bobby: What are you doing?
Tommy: We’re going to do a duet.
Bobby: A duet. Great. Well, there’s three of us. Get off (pushes Lulu away)
Tommy: No, no, no. You’re the one what’s going
Bobby: No, no
Tommy: I said this, I’m sorry
Bobby: No, I’ve just come on
Tommy: No, no, this this is my new partner. You’re going.
Bobby: Your new partner. So I’ve finished.
Tommy: You’re done
Bobby: Thanks, Tom.
Tommy: You’re welcome.
Bobby: After all these years. I’ll not forget this, Lulu. You’ve stabbed me in the back. Just remember this Tommy.
Tommy: Yes
Bobby: He who laughs laughs…. (To audience) Shut up, shut up… He who laughs last gathers no moss.
Sings: Yours till the stars lose their glory, yours till the birds fail to sing.
(The sketch continued throughout the song)
Bobby: Ladies and gentlemen, Lulu. (To Tommy) Not you.
Tommy: Thank you. Thank you. Now ladies and gentlemen we would like to sing for you our latest single.
Bobby: Oh yes. Our latest single and it’s got to number 345 in the charts and rising.
Tommy: Ladies and gentlemen, the song is called wind beneath my wings.
(they sing Wind Beneath my Wings)
